One of the major themes in the recent presidential election was honesty. In light of the emphasis placed on this issue, we got to thinking. Honesty should not only be a political theme. It should ingrain itself into one’s personal life as well. There is nothing wrong with living an honest, wholesome lifestyle. And what better time to start this new honesty thing, but on Thanksgiving Day? Let it be an opportunity for one to cleanse oneself of the lies and deception we have readily shared with our friends and relatives. What do we mean by this? We think you know. It’s the little things we have omitted in an effort to maintain harmony and peace with our loved ones. But, for one day out of the year, let’s try this honesty thing. Let’s come clean, and tell people what is honest and true. Here are some suggestions:
Let’s start with your Aunt Sally, who just celebrated her 93rd birthday. It is time to tell her that, yes, you did know that she was once a Rockette at Radio City Music Hall, and that, yes, she has told you more times than the number of Rockettes in existence that she once met Mickey Rooney. You do know that Mickey winked at her backstage, and that she has always been convinced that it was his way of saying she would have been a better Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz than Judy Garland. (Who needs a great singing voice when you have great legs?) It is not that you want Aunt Sally to let go of her best memories. It is simply time to tell her that, no, there isn’t a remaining person alive who hasn’t heard the Mickey Rooney Rockette Story. It is time she put this whole business to bed.
How about your cousin Bertha and her new grandchild? How proud she is! Look at the many pictures! Five months old already? How about that! Perhaps this would be the day to tell her how closely the baby resembles Gerald Ford. (It’s a girl).
How about your Uncle Stanley? Let’s face it. Anyone with two eyes can see that he is wearing a hair piece. How about suggesting that, instead of the glue he uses that makes his forehead look like he has simonized it, why not just use an elastic chin strap? Just as functional and a lot less messy. The cat is out of the bag on this one, Uncle Stanley. Make your life easier.
And your Aunt Irene? Every year she makes her famous pumpkin pie. How great that this tradition has been maintained! But, the truth is that Aunt Irene couldn’t make a decent pie with a gun to her head. She simply does not possess any baking skills whatsoever. Why not suggest a new tradition? How about a pumpkin cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory? Just tell her that cheesecake is the new black. It’s 2016. Think like a millennial.
And, lastly, you can’t leave out your Uncle Hank. Uncle Hank always shows up late. He never brings anything. He always monopolizes the candied yams. (He also gave you a set of steak knives as a wedding gift that he got from the bank for opening a new account.) It’s time to tell Uncle Hank to pass the potatoes. Others would like yams too.
As you can see, honesty doesn’t always work. Sure, you could tell all of your relatives what you really think this Thanksgiving. You could break all of their little hearts with your truthiness (Stephen Colbert invented this word.) But, what’s the point? Let’s face it. The truth can be tough to hear. And you are just not made that way. You can’t slaughter people in the name of honesty. You are one of the sweetest people on the planet. You’re like the good witch, Glinda.
Let Aunt Sally tell her Rockette Story. Your only real job here is to act surprised again. She is 93. Pour yourself a scotch and gasp when she gets to the winking part. Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney are both dead. She won.
Tell your cousin Bertha that you see her granddaughter in the political arena in the future. (After all, it doesn’t hurt to already resemble a past president.) Maybe she will be our first woman in the oval office.
Make a prime rib dinner for Uncle Hank. Those steak knives will come in handy. (You probably could ask him to bring a bottle of wine. Good luck with that.)
As for Uncle Stanley, there is only one thing to do for him. Knit him a great hat. Who knows? Maybe he will become a hat guy. No need for a toupee under a hat, right?
And speaking of knitting, we have the perfect hat for your Uncle Stanley. Loopy Mango has come out with a great hat kit. The merino is super soft, and the hat only takes a few hours to make (around three). Great for Uncle Stanley and it looks good on women too. Here it is below: This kit comes with the needles, the pattern and the yarn (and this cool box). The kit is priced at $39.00.
We are also getting an unspeakable amount of Madeline Tosh arriving next week. Just in time for the holidays. Could anything be better?
And, how about this for the knitters in your family? Give them one (or more) of the knitting products from Chica. How about a project bag that has the yarn in the bottom that feeds out the top, and holds your project as well? Or a case that holds needles and notions all in one? They all make great holiday gifts. ( No more zip lock bags for your loved one. Give her some dignity) We have them all ready to go.
We are bringing back our Web Only Sale of two great Schacht products for the holidays too! 10% off on the Schacht 18″ Cricket Loom, and their Ladybug Spinning Wheel. Order these in time for the holidays! You can order now on our website. Here is the link: http://www.knittingtoknowewe.com/weaving-and-spinning/
You might want to think about giving a gift card for a lesson this year. We offer lessons in knitting, crochet, and weaving. You can purchase a gift card from us for a lesson, and your loved one can choose instruction on just about anything he or she wishes to learn. Or give a gift card for anything at all in our store. We have a lot of stuff, and it is all pretty wonderful. And there is always more coming! And, doesn’t that make you just smile? ( We’re smiling pretty much all of the time just thinking about that. We just love seeing that UPS guy.)
Our store is closing early at 4:00 pm, on Tuesday, November 22. We will open the 23rd, closed for Thanksgiving Day, and then back open on the 25th. We will be open all weekend too. Yay!
So, have a great Thanksgiving. Smile and hug everyone a lot. There is nothing wrong with Glinda. And, remember. On this one particular day, alcohol is your friend. And that’s the truth.
See you soon!
Diane and Christin